My husband is graduating in the spring (I can’t believe it) and has been talking about pulling together and updating his resume. I started thinking about what my resume might look like if I was to put one together.

Title: Manager

Objective: To obtain employment…

Experiences
– Culinary Expertise gained through hours of cooking various meals to suit many different pallets. 7860 hours of cooking/ baking experience in a variety of mediums. Specialties include mac n cheese, spaghetti, tacos, casserole, cookies and cereal (with milk).

– Driver for 3, sometimes more clients at a time. Very versed in the layout of various towns and cities. Knows the fastest route to get to most venues at any given time during the day.

– Accountant and Money manager. Expert in balancing checkbooks, stretching pennies, bulk shopping, paying bills, and finding deals.

– Interpersonal Relationships counselor. 61, 320 hours of direct conflict resolution, peace- maker training, manners and etiquette training and general preparation for life- primarily, but not limited to three young proteges.

– Housekeeping- 5110 hours logged in general housekeeping including, but not limited to washing dishes, scrubbing toilets, washing windows, sweeping the floor, vacuuming the floor, cleaning clutter, fluffing pillows, changing sheets, wiping tables, and doing laundry.

– Organization and Administration- Expert in maintaining schedules for 5 or more people, knowing when and where people are expected to be and how they will get there. Has organized and maintained suitable living in at least 5 different homes.

– Product Tester- Experience in consumer research, specifically product testing. Can tell you what products will withstand the impact of being thrown against a wall, smashed against the floor, swung around, dropped, pulled on, stretched or kicked. Has personally tested over 100 toys, several brands of clothes and shoes,  and a number of household objects.

– School Teacher- Has over 10,000 hours of experience writing and conducting lesson plans covering language arts, science, math, Bible and art.

– Paleontology- Can name at least one dinosaur for every letter of the alphabet.

– Oceanography- knows the mating habits of seahorses and can name at least one shark for every letter of the alphabet

– Other experiences include marriage expert, seamstress, knitter, cake decorator, party planning, exercise coordinator,  children’s book critic, artist (primarily stick drawings), master of make believe, queen of the castle, slayer of nightmares, finder of pacis, super amazing multi-tasker on long car trips, and basically anything else you can think of.

Education
– On the job training since March 2005
– College Degree in Education 2001
– Highschool Diploma 1997

My Resume

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