Confession- I’m starting to like it here. And guess what? We only have two more months until graduation. Isn’t that the way it goes? I am not going to lie and tell you that this has been the best experience of my life. I am not going to act like moving to a new state with no friends when I was seven months pregnant with our third child made me stand up and cheer. I am not going to tell you that the post partum depression I experienced after giving birth to said child was a walk in the park. I am not going to pretend that I enjoy wondering how our bills are going to get paid month after month. This has been the toughest experience of my life. The two years we have spent in seminary have been an emotional roller coaster to say the least. I absolutely hated the first year. I tried to like it… I really did. I tried to be supportive and kind. I tried to make friends and have a happy home. But most days, it was all I could do to survive. I was so focused on my little world and my problems, that I completely lost sight of the bigger picture. I completely forgot that these are “light and momentary trials” in light of eternity.
But, as I have mentioned before, something happened over the summer between year one and year two. We came up against some struggles and criticisms that could have served to divide our marriage and family, but rather united my husband and I. I began to take comfort in the fact that although I felt miserably out of control, God had not abandoned us. I started making friends (remember my last confession) and that was huge.
It takes time to feel secure in a home. It takes time to settle into new surroundings. In our experiences with moving (4 times in 5 years), I have realized that it seems to take about 18 months to 2 years to really settle into your surroundings and become established. This is my experience… it may not be the same for you. Well… here we are, nearing the two year mark… and I feel established and comfortable. I like our neighborhood. I like our friends. I like our town… and now… He is graduating and we will move again.
I am trying, oh so hard to prepare myself mentally for this move. I am trying not to think about how the kids could go off the deep end… how I could go off the deep end. If you had asked me this time last year if I wanted out of here… I would have said “ABSOLUTELY!!!!”… but that would have been speaking out of my own hurt and crazy hormones. Now… I am content. I am praying that contentment would be because of who I am in the Lord…. because of the sweet family I get to be part of and who will making
the next move with me… and not because of a house, a yard and a neighborhood. I am sure we will make friends, find a community, go to a church and find purpose in the next place we live. It just overwhelms me a little to think about it.
So perhaps I’ll try not to borrow trouble from tomorrow. I’ll just grab a cup of coffee and sit back and enjoy this lovely day.