A man without self-control
is like a city broken into and left without walls

Proverbs 25:28

I read this verse to my 6 year old son yesterday. He is so angry… it seems like all the time. My husband and I talk about this all the time. We try to figure out what the cause of all this anger is… the fact that he is the only boy? the fact that we’ve moved 5 times in his life… and lived in four different states? the fact that he’s homeschooled? the fact that he is the oldest? the fact that I’ve struggled with depression? the fact that I’m pregnant? the fact that we put a lot of pressure on him because he seems to have wisdom beyond his years?  We don’t know… it could be some of this… it could be all of this… it could be none of this.

It could simply be that he is a sinner… who wants his own way… and doesn’t like it when he doesn’t get it. Sin manifests its ugly head differently in each person. In children, especially outwardly expressive children like mine, who have no filter what so ever… sin’s unwanted impact is very in our face. It’s a lovely little mirror for myself when I see the twisted, angry look on my son’s face when things don’t go his way. I mean… in reality, I may not have the look on my face, but quite often I have anger in my heart when I don’t get my own way… who doesn’t want things their own way?

I have hit a wall… I just don’t know what to do with him and his anger. We have prayed and pray still. We have talked about scripture with him. We talk him through his temper tantrums… I feel like a negotiator talking someone down from a ledge. We have him copy scripture. We send him to his room, we use other types of discipline. We make him play alone, we take things away. We give him one on one time… his dad plays darts with him, rough houses with him. We affirm his uniqueness, his special-ness…

The anger remains.

I am so hoping this will pass. I am so hoping that his heart will soften. It is painful to watch him get so angry. It is frustrating and stressful for everyone in the house. You just never know when that switch will turn and the anger will rise. I’ve tried to explain to him that his anger hurts him most. He is like a city whose walls are broken down. His anger causes him to be defenseless and vulnerable…. but you see, he’s six. How much does he really understand? Does he even know what he’s really angry about?

Ah parenthood…

Linking Up with the MOB Society today…

Mothers of Boys

A City Whose Walls Are Broken Down

3 thoughts on “A City Whose Walls Are Broken Down

  • November 4, 2011 at 9:04 am
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    First of all, thank you for linking your blog roll to Three Thinking Mothers! We are glad to have you. 🙂

    I can related to an angry six year old. My daughter (who is 10 now) was VERY much this way. In my experience, things did get better with patience and firm, persistent discipline. I see now that God made her with a strong spirit that will benefit many people in the future – but our challenge was to break her will, not her spirit. She has mellowed out A LOT, but there were many tears, prayers, and arguments!!

    Blessings to you – so glad I visited your blog today!

    Reply
    • November 4, 2011 at 9:10 am
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      Thanks for the encouragement… I am holding tight to the hope that things will get better!

      Reply
  • November 5, 2011 at 9:32 am
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    My boys are only 5 & 7 and we don’t have a great anger problem but I see things in my oldest that makes me think under the “wrong” circumstances should he continue some of his ways of thinking he could easily become a literal tyrant-dictator leader of a third world nation! So I guess he has leader qualities and that means we have to be careful to teach him diligently God’s Word that applies to such “gifts” so he uses them for God’s glory vs. his own gain.

    I can only wish I had great advice for you but I’m right there with ya 😉 Pray, be consistent and loving- lots of love (make sure he’s getting the message that he is loved unconditionally…these are things I need to work on myself). And teach him God’s word in a loving way so he doesn’t end up hating God and his word.

    Parenting is hard work!

    Reply

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