A few weeks ago at church, our pastor preached about Bathsheba. He has been doing a series on the women of the Bible. He brought a perspective to the story of Bathsheba that I’d never considered. Often, when we read the story of Bathsheba and David, we focus on the actions of David. We don’t really consider Bathsheba’s story. We assume that because David was the king and Bathsheba was a woman, she didn’t have much say in what happened to her. However, if you look at the language of the story, there is nothing to indicate that Bathsheba was forced to do anything against her will. In the story of Tamar, it is clear that she was violated against her will, but in the story of Bathsheba, I think it’s safe for us to believe that she had a choice in her relationship with King David.
So… why would she chose to be unfaithful to her husband? Why would she chose to break the law of Moses? Why would she chose to bring such disgrace upon herself? One thought that our pastor presented was that Bathsheba was trying to be her own savior. She was trying to secure favor with the king. Maybe it was a power play. Whatever her motives were, Bathsheba broke God’s law and the consequences and actions that followed were extreme… the murder of her husband, the death of her child.
I’ve been thinking about this story a lot and how so often I try to be my own savior. When finances are tight, I start thinking about what I can sell on ebay or how I can shift around what we have to make money stretch… instead of trusting that God is going to be faithful to provide all our needs.
When I wake up in the night with fears of how the world might violate my children, I start fearing and scheming about how I can keep them safe … instead of trusting that God loves my children more than I do.
When I come to the end of the day and realize that I have yelled at, ignored, brushed aside one or all of my children and my husband and start feeling like a failure… thinking the kids would be better off with someone else… rather than trusting that God has given me these children and made no mistakes when allowing me to be their mother.
When I get on the scale only to realize that 6 months of exercise and diet has amounted to just about nothing, I start scheming about what diet fad I can try to manipulate my waistline… becoming bitter about the “cards that have been dealt to me.”… instead of believing that beauty is fading and charm is deceptive and God is not concerned about what’s on the outside… so why should I be?
Any time I think that I can make things better through my own schemes and plans, I am trying to be my own savior. Why is it so hard to take God at his word? Why is it so easy to forget how faithful He’s been and will continue to be?
Why would I want to be my own savior? There’s a reason that Jesus was chosen for the job and not me. Will I ever be able to rest in Him fully as my savior this side of heaven?