I found this picture on Pinterest… I’m sorry… I don’t know who to give credit to.
I have vented my frustrations on here before about the unnecessary comments people feel the need to make when I am out and about with my four. You know… like “wow, you sure have your hands full” or “are those all your’s.” I really don’t understand why people feel the need to say anything at all about the number of children I have with me. It’s like if you have more than one child, you must be some kind of crazy person!
I have found that I can tolerate ignorant comments from strangers much more than I can handle the judgment that seeps out from those who should be more understanding.. other moms! Especially other moms who are of similar mind set and have multiple children!!!! We’re on the same team ladies… we should be having each other’s backs… building each other up… not tearing each other down.
I have come to the conclusion that we are all desperately insecure. Our insecurities come out in different ways. Some of us are timid, constantly questioning the decisions we are making for our children. Should I potty train now? Cloth diapers or disposable? To spank or not to spank? Am I doing enough to prepare them for school? Should I homeschool? We ask questions of other moms. We hold ourselves up to an unattainable standard. We compare ourselves to other moms, using them as the measuring stick of our success or failure. Other show insecurities in different ways… they want to appear in control… so they become the “expert” on everything. They have an answer for all our parenting woes. They know exactly when and how to potty train. They know the solution to your child’s behavior problem. They parent you as you try to parent your child.
I really do think much of these behaviors come from a place insecurity, but come out as judgmental. The fact of the matter is, we are all created in God’s image… and we are all gifted by him… but we are not all the same. We have different gifts, different talents and different abilities. God created us as unique individuals with a purpose.
One of my favorite things that I learned from a mom to mom mentoring group that I was part of is that “God has a will.” You want to know when you should potty train your child, ask Him.. He has a will. How should you discipline your child… ask Him.. he has a will. Should you have your child tested for ADD… as Him… he has a will. Should you have more children… ask Him.. he has a will. Should you work or stay at home or both… ask Him… he has a will. I think you get the point. His is the voice we should listen to!
SO…how do we drown out all those other voices that scream for our attention. How do we filter through all the advice, criticisms, comments, critiques that we receive?
I don’t know… when you figure it out, will you tell me?
I mean… I guess the answer is really spend time with the One who actually has all the answers. Read His word.
Here’s the thing… everyone has a story. There are things that happen in our lives that inform our decisions and behaviors. Until you know someone’s story, you really have no right to judge… and even if you do know the story… use discernment. I have been on the receiving end of judgment. I have also doled out judgment of my own. Neither one really feels all that good. I guess I’m just pleading to the other moms out there… can we give each other some grace? Can we speak to each other with love and not condemnation? Can we work on the planks in our own eyes before we start in on each other? Motherhood is a tough job… we need all the encouragement we can get!