diary

There is a quote that I love: The mountains are calling and I must go. John Muir said that. A couple of weeks ago, the mountains were calling and I went. We live in an amazingly beautiful place. I have understood on a much deeper level the psalm that says

I lift up my eyes to the hills.
    From where does my help come?
My help comes from the Lord,
    who made heaven and earth

My soul is refreshed when I look to the mountains that surround us. And I have SO needed it recently.

We were told that our lease would not be renewed. Our lease that ended yesterday. We were told at the beginning of August which gave us a month to get ourselves together and find a new place to live. Thankfully, our landlords extended our lease through October to give us time to look and find the right house. When we began the process of looking for homes, I was super excited and totally confident that God had it under control. I thought we were just going to pull up to the first house we looked at and it would be THE ONE. It wasn’t. Neither were the next twenty or so. We were only at this for a couple of weeks when I started to feel despair and discouragement. I am not a business person. The business of buying a house is extremely frustrating. I, frankly, don’t care about investing and appreciation of property, etc. I just want a home for our family. I cannot predict the housing market and don’t want to buy a house on the what ifs and could be’s of the future when one day we will sell this house we haven’t even found yet!

Still with me?

Needless to say, I was a little stressed. On top of that, I have become super sensitive to mold. Only a small percentage of the houses we looked at didn’t make me sick. I was starting to feel run down, beat up and just done. My husband and I agreed to not look at or talk about houses for the weekend. The kids and I headed to one of our favorite swimming holes at a nearby river with friends. The mountains called and I went.

butterflyI love that there is no signal where we go. I could not receive texts or emails. I turned my phone to airplane mode so I could still take pictures and not drain my battery. I put the phone up and sat my the river with some great ladies as my kids played with their friends. I took time to pause. I reflected on the certainty I had when we began the house hunting process (just two weeks prior) that God had it under control. I remembered that I didn’t need to fret or worry or scheme. I was refreshed and restored. This little butterfly landed on Little Sis’s shoe. I don’t know why. It just struck me as a reminder to chill out and rest. I have this as the wall paper on my phone now. It reminds me of the peace I have in knowing that I am not in control and that is a good thing.

Little Sis’s name, Selah, means “pause and reflect.” She is my constant reminder to be still, be calm, pause and remember that God’s plan is so much bigger and better than my own. She turned five on Friday. She is a beautiful mess:

selah

Today is Labor Day. My husband has taken the kids to look at the house we are potentially buying (yes, we found it!), my littles are napping and I am here, pausing and reflecting. I am knowing that I will stress out again at some point. I am sure that I will lose sight of the goal again. But for now, I am here. I am calm and resting in the assurance that God has this one under control.

 

Diary of a Homeschool Mom- Pause and Reflect

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