The Lie: I Can Do it Myself!
One of the most common (and effective) strategies that Satan uses to discourage moms is the idea that we can go it alone.
We, people, women.. .we are designed for fellowship. In the Biblical design, older women pour into younger women. Back in the day, women lived and worked together… they cooked, gathered water, did laundry, raised their children… TOGETHER. There was a necessary community. Young moms were never meant to be alone.
The truth is, us moms need an advocate. God created family so that we would never have to bear the burden alone. In our current culture, we often lose perspective of how much we need intimate friendships with other women.
When this need for fellowship with other women goes unmet, it can often put pressure on our husbands to fulfill a role he was not intended to fulfill. This can create bitterness and jealousy.
In our age of technology, it is easy to ignore the need for real friends. When my husband was in seminary, I was very lonely. Before I connected with other seminary wives, I turned to an online community of friends. I tried to connect through blog reading and twitter. All I got was an unrealistic view of what motherhood was like from people that I have never met. Rare is the person who is completely honest and vulnerable online. You simply do not connect with people online the way you do with a real, life friend. We NEED human contact. P.S. This also applies to introverts!
Cultivating friendships is a talent that will benefit you and your children. Your children will see you in relationship with other people. When you develop friendships with other moms, your children will gain friends. Your children will see that other moms expect their kids to obey. They will have other adults who can speak truth into their lives.
Your relationship with the Lord is primary. Your relationship with your husband is absolutely the next most important. However… your husband cannot be everything to you. He cannot be Jesus and he cannot be your girlfriend… don’t put that pressure on him. Because I have friendships with other women, I am a better mom and wife.
No matter how hard you try, you cannot do it alone. You need community… it’s ok to admit that. Seek out a moms group at your church, a women’s Bible study, a play group at the park. If you can’t find one… start one!