I’ve compiled this list from various sources (and a little of my own life experience).
Our marriages are a battleground… God is for marriage… therefore Satan is aggressively against it. God’s design for marriage is to paint a picture of the gospel… a picture of Christ’s sacrifice and God’s unconditional love and acceptance. Satan will work to destroy that.
In this post, I am primarily speaking to women… but many of these go both ways.
Here are a few ideas (I am sure there are more) to safe guard your marriage:
1. Fill his visual memory (I’ve also seen this called filling his visual “rolodex” or “instagram”): Men are wired to be visual. Images assault men daily. Too often, men are painted in a bad light for being visual… but God created a man’s visual nature. It can, in fact, be a tool that bonds husband and wife.
Create images and moments for him to fixate on of you- the woman he loves. Your husband desires to honor you. You are the woman he wants to see in his mind.
2. Look at the plank in your own eye. The answer is not changing him- it’s changing yourself. Your husband has a right to his opinion. When you disagree with him about something, that doesn’t make him wrong- he’s just different. How can you work together to come up with a compromise? Before voicing that something bugs you, ask:
is he wrong? or does he just have a different judgment of a situation? Approach needed conversation with wanting to know what’s important to him as well as expressing what’s important to you.
3. Build a deep connection through physical intimacy. It is the icing on the cake and a beautiful picture of the gospel- unconditional love.
4. Say “Thank you.” Husbands have so many different spheres in which they operate… work, family, church, etc. Each sphere has different expectations and rules. Men often ask “do I measure up?”
Be specific in your thanks. Men need appreciation and respect. Don’t give up if it takes him a while to respond. And don’t play the martyr in your marriage. You both sacrifice incredible amounts to make your marriage successful.
5. Care for yourself. I’m not saying this to say you have to maintain some physical standard of beauty. I am saying… care for yourself… Be healthy so you can keep up with life. I spent several years of our marriage very over weight and very sedentary. Many days I sent my kids off with my husband to play at the park with the kids, ride bikes, hike, etc. I missed out on those memories because I simply couldn’t keep up.
What would you add to the list? Comment below and let us know.