Last week, I posted about safe guarding your marriage. Safe guarding from what??? We have an enemy who seeks to kill and destroy. If marriage is God’s idea, Satan will do everything to destroy it. He will sit back and delight when we fight and hurt each other. We often think our spouse is against us… but in reality.. it is a greater enemy.
Here are 10 things that can be a tool of the enemy in your marriage:
1. Unresolved Anger. This can often stem from fear, frustration, or hurt. Some people are aggressive and some people are passive. When you have an aggressive person and a passive person married to each other, unresolved anger can do serious damage. As hard as confrontation can be for some of us, it is better to talk things out than to let them fester.
2. Selfishness. Never in Scripture are we encouraged to be selfish… Selfless… yes. Dying to self… yes. Putting other people first… yes. Selfish… no.
3. Stress and Fatigue. You guys… I can attest to this one. Stress and fatigue can destroy. How can you support your spouse in a stressful time. How can you go out of your way to speak their love language? Provide a safe place?
4. Time and Work pressures. Do you over commit? I do. I totally take on too much and then give my family, especially my husband, the short end of the deal. My husband is the second most important relationship in my life. My kids come after that. Who and what am I putting before them… and why?
5. Unshared or Misplaced Values. If you are not on the same page as your spouse at the very core with your values and beliefs.. when hit with the tough stuff, you will not react the same. Strife and conflict can often arise. My husband and I may not always agree, but we come from the same Biblical worldview. We can step back and talk about how disagreement and look to the Bible, which we both agree is the truth.
6. Children. When your children become more valuable to you than your spouse, trouble is not far behind. My children will grow up and likely leave the house at some point. I don’t want to be left living with a man who I barely know anymore. I don’t just want a roommate. I want my husband.
7. Emotional Trauma. We often don’t realize the depths of damage emotional trauma can cause. Sometimes you need help outside of you and your spouse. Seek counseling… trustworthy counseling.
8. Finances. Do I really need to go into why this can tear apart your marriage. We all have an idea of how finances should be handled. Some of us are savers and some of us are spenders. Some of us are givers and some of us are not. Some of us seek to impress. Some of us don’t care. Some of us plan for the future. Some of us live for the now. How can you have common ground when it comes to finances in your marriage. I feel like this needs its own blog post.
10. Boredom. When you have a lack of purpose. When you are seeking success and not getting it fast enough. When you are self centered. You become dissatisfied with your life and began to dream about and often act on what you think can fill the void.
Marriage is sacred and beautiful. Our culture does not seek to protect marriage. Often, our churches do not either. Yes… marriage can be messy and painful at times. But it is worth the risk. It is worth the pain to see the beautiful. Marriage is a picture of the gospel. Marriage should be a safe place for sanctification. A safe place to make mistakes and know that you will still be loved. A safe place to grow and be encouraged. Marriage is worth the risk.