So… we’ve been watching Friends on Netflix. The show is so centered on sex… jokes about sex, people having sex, people talking about having sex, people talking about how to have sex…. you get the point. It’s not just Friends, you know. It’s really any show on TV and any movie and any book in the mainstream culture. It is just EVERYWHERE…
Everywhere, except, in my opinion, the one place is SHOULD be… the CHURCH! I mean… let’s just get real open and real here. Sex is God’s idea. Now… I know that SO MANY people would disagree with that, blush at that, be offended by that… but it’s true… sex is God’s idea.
And… as with most things that started with God, the world has taken sex and twisted it, marred it, and disfigured it to the point of unrecognizable as it was first intended.
I’m not going to turn this post into a theological lesson. If you’d like a great sermon on sex and the Bible, check out this gem from a series our church is doing right now on Marriage, Sexuality, and Singleness… Sex in Marriage.
What I do want to say is this… I wish the church was as open in talking about sex as the world is. I became a Christian when I was fourteen. I remember learning about saving myself for marriage. I remember signing a “true love waits” pledge card. I remember learning all about how sex outside of marriage is bad. In fact… most of what I heard about sex from the church made me categorize it in my brain as “bad.” So much so that I had to retrain my brain when my husband and I got married. In fact, I still am retraining my brain… over eleven years of marriage and I am still trying to reframe what sex should actually look like from a Biblical worldview.
I really do encourage you to listen to the sermon I linked to… here are a few take aways that stood out to me:
– Sex from the world’s perspective = an act of self marketing. You must always keep up a good appearance, a sexy look, a pressure to perform well or be left for someone who can.
– Sex from a Biblical perspective = a safe place to be vulnerable. Knowing that you are loved and accepted even in your weakest, ugliest, clumsiest moments
– Sex from the world’s perspective = self satisfying, self seeking, self consuming
– Sex from a Biblical perspective = dying to self (in a good way), other centered, other satisfying and therefore self satisfying
– Sex from the world’s perspective = short lived gratification
– Sex from a Biblical perspective = a continual deepening of the intimacy already being gained through the day to day of doing life with someone… your spouse is the person you share experiences with… from raising children, dealing with aging parents, loss of work, and more.
So… I guess I’m just saying that I am really tired of the world getting to gloat about something that was really intended for so much more. I am tired of sex being taboo in the walls of the church. I’m really thankful to be in a church willing to have open and honest conversations. I am super thankful for a marriage class that my husband I an were part of early in our marriage. Of course, wisdom is needed when teaching about it. Of course, we need to be aware the whens, hows and wheres… but we don’t need to be afraid.